I’ve had a few very peculiar weeks, maybe that is why I hace been a little absent from here.
I wouldn’t normally post something so personal but this mught be useful for my daughter when she reads it.
For the past 3 years, I’ve been very angry with the world, human relationships, life in general. The only thing has made my days is seen my daughter’s smile wash away my tears.
Why angry? Because I was deceived, cheated on and nothing good was happening, falling into a depresion and fighting to stay on my feet and be strong, pretend that nothing happened and putting a fake smile on my face for everyone to see how strong I was.
They say that time heals the wounds, of that I am not so sure. I say that time grows scars, but beneath them the wounds are fresh. Turning my back on love, possible new friendships was an everyday thing. Started comming naturally, telling my selft that I did not need love, a friend, a beer; but the self lying lasted so long.
Over a year ago an old platonic love reapeared in my life while at the premier of my first short film, I don’t remember inviting her, but there she was and it was big surprise. So we started going out, dating, moved in toguether and history repeated itself, as it tends to do.
Some 4 months later I was back on my own, cold hearted, broke and angry, but most of all disappointed. This actually came as a blessing because being broke forced me to pedal my bike to work, whiche gave me some time to think and re think about relationships.
So I made a decision, I would open the door and let someone in and guess what? Big mistake! That is right, fucking history repeats itself.
I think I need a shrink.
Enough bitching, enough self pitty, I got me a new apartment, a new car and a new way of thinking.
Ps: I will not spellcheck.